Well I finally made the third trimester. Not sure if I thought I’d ever make it.
I must say pregnancy hasn’t been the joy that I was expecting. It’s been made worse by the fact that I feel guilty complaining about how I feel because I know that this is what I wanted all along and a close friend did say those words to me. There have been times where I have really struggled and when I talk to people they keep telling me how well I look! I’ve learnt to just ignore that now. It use to upset me more because I didn’t feel well. Far from it actually.
The first trimester I remember the nausea and sickness the most. That and the stress of loosing baby B. Having to do my normal job while not lifting or over stretching wasn’t easy but that became easier when I gave up and let my team help me. Then coping the the normal stress of my job became harder with all the hormones raging through my body. I was convinced I was a failure.
The second trimester came upon me in a flash and I was looking forward to that. I was told it was the easiest one! The nausea did stop but not until I had a tummy bug that wiped me out and made me think I’d hurt the baby. Then the discomfort started. I have found walking and standing for long periods hard as baby is low and my muscle tone isn’t brilliant after all the operations I’ve had. Work got busier and more stressful and the incidents of me emptying my emotional bucket got more frequent. This is something I’m not used to as I am normally the strong one.
I can’t blame work for everything though as my mum was taken ill and had to have a major operation. She is recovering well now so that stress has lessened but at a time when you want to talk to your mum she wasn’t able. I’m greatful to all my friends and sisters who took up the slack in that department.
We have finally made progress with the nursery which I didn’t think would ever happen. My husband has been working so hard trying to work full time as well as doing the chores in the house because they are either too much for me or I’m just asleep because I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. That and he’s been my rock when my emotions have gotten the better of me and walking our gorgeous dog because I can’t summon the strength that day.
So now I’m facing the third trimester and I’m told it’s a hard one. I started with a cold and no medication safe to take other than paracetamol. And now I’ve had a scan and they were worried about baby being too big for the number of weeks I am. That and there is too much fluid around her. The sonographer did panic us but the doctor reassured us that she could just be a big baby. Just to make sure I am currently sitting in pathology awaiting my second blood test for glucose levels. One good thing about it is the time to sit down had enabled me to update you all without falling asleep. The other is little Alice is reacting to the glucose and kicking the s**t out of me. As much as it hurts sometimes it is a good feeling knowing that I am not along and that she is alive and well in there. It’s almost like she saying it’s ok mum I’m here. I’ll see you soon (not too soon though you’ve got some more cooking to do) x x x