I’m aware that I have been quiet for a couple of weeks now. I usually know I’m not keeping people up to date because they start messaging me (which I don’t mind. It shows they care and are thinking of us). I am also aware that I haven’t been commenting on fellow bloggers posts either which I feel bad about. 

We have a good reason though as we have been battling with our own story a little. 

When I last blogged I mentioned that a scan had revealed two sacs and two heartbeats. 

Since then I have struggled with permanent nausea and tiredness like I have never experience before. When I need a nap sometimes I just can’t stop myself! My husband thinks that’s hilarious as it’s usually me waking him up while we are watching telly! 

I had to have a scan every week because our pregnancy is high risk. I was going to go to my next scan on my own as my husband had to work but something told me not to. Thankfully a friend was texting me at the right time and she was able to come with me. A real test of a friendship as I was still having to have internal scans! 

 It was at this scan that I was told that Twin B hadn’t grown as much as Twin A and that his/her heartbeat was very weak and that we should prepare for the worse. Cue flash backs from my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage. It was a shock but I was also told that Twin A was a perfect size and had a strong heartbeat. I certainly was glad that my friend was there. Thank you sweetheart x

Naturally there were tears and many many cuddles but more importantly talking. My husband and I talked about how sad it would be if Twin B didn’t make it but then we went through our blessings. 

1) If I hadn’t have had a bleed so early I wouldn’t have been scanned and we wouldn’t have known there were two sacs anyway. 

2) Even with one baby only, we will be 100% richer than we thought we could be a year ago

3) Twins are hard for any mum to carry but with my scarring it will be harder 

4) Twins will obviously be more expensive as you need two of everything 

We only managed 24hrs of conversations when I woke up to bleeding. Bright red blood too. Just mild panic ensued as it stopped as quickly as it started and was followed by some brown blood. When I had more brown blood the next morning I decided it was time to phone the hospital. They weren’t too worried because I wasn’t flooding but they brought my scheduled scan forward by a few days. Ironically the bleeding stopped completely the day before that scan. 

So this scan ended up being when I was exactly 8 weeks and Twin A was doing brilliantly. Perfect size and strong heartbeat. Twin B however no longer had a heartbeat and was just a sac and fetal pole. 

I think we took the news really well. Mainly because we had done our grieving when we were told it was a possibility. In fact I think I knew it was going to happen but suddenly became worried that something would happen to Twin A when Twin B did disappear. I’ve had it explained to me now that even though I may still loose some blood Twin A is ok because my cervix is still closed. Twin B will just be absorbed into my body and Twin A will be able to go from strength to strength now they have my bodies full attention. 

I actually don’t have to have another scan now for two weeks because we are doing so well. 

Next appointment is with the consultant that will be looking after me. Turns out he’s the same one that took my ovaries away! He certainly knows me inside and out. 

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Keep them going and next time I hope to be able to give you just good news and maybe a picture or two.