It’s been a few days now since we had the positive result and it’s still not really sunk in. 

I’d been suffering with nausea all day everyday until some clever lady at work suggested I wear my seabands. Wow. They are brilliant. I have gone from being in tears because I can’t feel sick any more to being able to eat and almost be normal! 

I’ve been tired too but with the husband taking on all the manual stuff at home and work not letting me lift or stretch too much, I seem to be getting by. 

I’ve been to see my GP and he was mighty impressed with how much weight I’d lost. He was the GP that did my medical for the adoption process and he just said “you’re half the woman I saw all those months ago”. 

He talked about everything I’d been through and how it was amazing news. I mentioned how I was obviously apprehensive about the pregnancy considering my history and he said that I was ok and had to concentrate on the now. Because of all these factors he wants my pregnancy to be consultant led rather than midwife led. That pleased me because it means I will have access to a Dr if I need it at any point. Especially the birth. 

I actually have my first midwife appointment booked in for next week! I’m hoping once that happens I’ll start to really feel like it’s happening. At the moment I’m doing everything right. I’m taking my pills, inserting my pessaries, taking it easy and eating and drinking the right things. But amongst all that I’m not convinced it’s worked and that I’m really growing a baby or two! It may be some sort of defence mechanism that I’m using. If it’s not real then I can’t be hurt by it. I’m really not sure. Watch this space though and I may feel different next week. 

Another topic of conversation this week with me and some people who know they can ask me anything, is how a donor egg works in the grand scheme of things. 

The egg has my husbands sperm injected in it. It then starts to divide in its little test tube. After 5 days the cells start to come together and that creates a blastocyst. Two of those blastocysts were put inside me where they start to grow. Now technically at that moment they have none of my DNA. But I’m not at all worried about this. A week on the baby(ies) now have a placenta that is starting to get its nourishment from me. 

I actually described our baby(ies) as a blank canvas. What happens while they are inside me is what creates the image. Inside my womb I’m painting a picture and it’s going to be the most amazing picture in our world.