This is a funny time for us and it’s clear that it is difficult for people to know what to say to us too. Last night someone summed it up for us though. She just said congratulations on your procedure and all the best for your test. She couldn’t have said it better. 

The first thing that struck me was the sudden halt of anything I was doing to increase our success. I was having fertility massage once a month and reflexology every two weeks. Both of which have to stop. I was on a strict diet to loose weight and actually before we flew I weighed myself and reached my target. A whopping 8 and a half stone  lost! So now it’s just healthy eating and increasing my calcium in take (yuk!). 

To all intents and  purposes I am pregnant. I have to take it easy so the blastocysts have an easy time burrowing in to my lining. I can not put them at risk so I refused to go through a scanner at a museum and I’m watching what I eat and drink, as per “the rules” and I’m doing everything to keep my tummy warm and inviting. No ice cold drinks or food, not even the free ice cream we were given at our last meal out in Greece! 

The procedure itself was surreal. I had to have a full bladder and I was sure it was full. Any fuller and I was going to empty it there and then! While we were waiting our consultant kept walking passed me and congratulating me on how different I looked. He hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. It took me back a little because it was the first time I had met him face to face. “You look so different to your photos” “I can’t believe it’s you”. That was a lovely confidence boost I must say. 

Then it was time. I was taken away to get half undressed (clever me wore a dress type top). My husband wasn’t allowed with me at this point but when I was taken into the “procedure room” he was sat there next to the bed. Then it was all go. I’ve never seen so many nurses all at once. One was having to hold my loose tummy fat out of the way so another could scan my womb from above. And I’m sure there were three or more at my feet waiting for instructions from dr Nikos. He was poking about muttering at me about not having a full bladder. He tried to make me wait another half an hour and I protested that my bladder couldn’t do it. So he struggled on and eventually he got the tiny catheter in. We were watching in the screen above his head and he kept moving the catheter in and out asking if we could see it on the screen. Meanwhile he was resting his chin on my leg looking at the screen by my right ear. I wasn’t worried though. It broke the ice and made a tense situation feel like the norm. 

Once Dr Nikos gave the nod another person came in with a smaller catheter. This contained our blastocysts. We then watched on the screen as Dr Nikos squirted them into my womb. It was like watching shooting stars. A magical moment for us. Then someone handed us a photo. She said it’s the first photo of our babies. That’s when I cried. 

I wasn’t allowed to wee yet. I had to stay still for at least 10mins before I could go and empty my bladder. I suddenly didn’t need the loo anymore so I waited for half an hour. I couldn’t wait any longer than that. Then I was moved to a more comfy bed where I slept for an hour at least. During that sleep I had a dream. I dreamed of shooting stars and I woke with a smile on my face. 

The rest of the day was spent watching bedknobs and broomsticks and other childhood films and lots of rest and sleep. 

Just three more days were spent in Greece with some gentle sightseeing. Lots of stopping and resting and many a coffee shop break. All the time looking after the blastocysts to the best of our ability. 

Since being home I’ve been feeling very strange. I have a drug regime to follow which includes oestrogen pills three times a day and three progesterone pessaries a day. Because of these I have been having some symptoms including painful breasts and cramping sensations. The difficulty is that these symptoms are signs of early pregnancy but because of the circumstances of the creation of this pregnancy it can only be because of the drugs. My body won’t be producing those hormones for itself yet. Just another cruel twist to contend with. 

Anyway, we should find out for sure whether we are parents or not in a few days but for now I am starting as I mean to go on. Pass me the milkshake …