While I’m away from home I worry about my friends all the time. I don’t like not being able to get to them when they need me. When I phone my best friend she can’t talk because the kids are around, listening, or her ex is nearby. We talk in code and I get more worried. If she can’t get away at the weekend then we can’t catch up and my worry increases. 

I really think that senile dementia is setting in! When I have a bath I always take my mobile and my portable home phone in so that if anyone wants me they can get hold of me. I should explain that I have been known to be in the bath for hours at a time. The last time I did this no one rang me so when I got out I took the phones with me, only what I thought was my home phone was actually the remote control for the telly! It was a good job that no one rang me, I wouldn’t have gotten on very well! 

For the first time in my career I got to a store, to train them, and I had no idea where I was sleeping that night. We have an emergency number that we can phone for these sorts of problems so I gave them a quick call. I wasn’t very successful because they didn’t have a booking for me. I did panic slightly but there’s always a way out of these things. I tried to contact my boss but her phone was switched off. I then rang the person who I am working for this week and she arranged a last minute booking. My boss called me that evening to apologise because she had forgotten to make a reservation for me. I can’t be cross with her because I mess up so often and she takes it all in her stride. At the end of the day I made my way back to the car park. I walked passed a car that had a parking permit that looked just like mine. I was amazed so I tried to get a closer look to see if was for Bexhill. It was then I realised it was actually my car! What a plonker! 

I have met most of the other trainers but one sticks in my mind because of all the brilliant stories that she has. It seems that she can’t go anywhere or do anything without something amusing happening to her. I have, in the past, had her ringing me late at night because she was stuck in the ladies at a club. Not because she couldn’t physically get out but because someone she had been nice to had taken quite a shine to her. He wouldn’t leave her alone. At one point, while she was on the phone to me, he entered the ladies to find out if she was ok. I just told her that while he was in the gents she had to run, find a cab and get back to the hotel as soon as possible. How many of us would get into that sort of situation while in a strange town on your own? She was fine in the end but it is scary to think of now. So much could have happened to her. Mind you life has to have some exciting moments or you would go out of your mind. 

She has been at it again. I can’t believe the scrapes she gets herself into. This time she has managed to get locked in a store that she was working in but in her defence they did lock up dead on 5:30pm. Not many stores manage that and then again not many stores forget they had a visitor. She couldn’t move around the store because of all the door alarms. The only way she could get help was to ring head office. They were able to contact a key holder but when help came the alarm wouldn’t reset and they were both left in the store until an engineer could get to them. That was 9:30pm. To top it all off the hotel she was staying at had stopped serving food! She really isn’t safe to go anywhere with. Things just seem to happen to her. Mind you I’m just as bad!…

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