Written in 2004 – it’s weird. Even though I am two years off being 30, I am worrying about it already! It probably has a lot to do with the fact that my parents are moving away very soon. They are going several hundred miles away. I understand that my brothers and sister are feeing abandoned too but I am just expected to be ok with it and look out for the others, just because I am the eldest and I work away from home all the time anyway. 

I have had a few ups and downs in my life and have thankfully come out the other side of it all, mainly because of my friends and family. I am however fed up with more and more hurdles springing up in front of me and ruining my view. 

My biggest troubles started when I met my first serious boyfriend. We wanted to be together so I moved out of my parents and in with him. I thought I was happy. We didn’t have much money so I left college and got a full time job (with the same company I’m with now too). I did very nearly mess that up because I was ill quite a bit and he would persuade me to take the day off to spend with him at home. We were together for nearly four years and had even been engaged. 

The wedding plans had just begun when he came home from football, at three in the morning, and told me that he didn’t love me anymore! It was very messy and both sets of parents got involved. My mother asked him if there was another woman but he denied it. That was a bit pointless on his part because a week after we split up he moved in with a woman that he worked with! He is now married to her with two kids. 

I use to be bitter about it all but I have recently been to see him and made my peace. I found that what he did to me was nothing compared to other things that have been done to me since. (2015 update- he passed away this year and I am so glad we were on good terms)

I had a brief spell of being promiscuous and did in fact get mixed up with a married man. Not something I am proud of but he waited until I was hooked before he told me the truth. They way it ended cemented my reasons to never be “that” person again and never ever let a man cheat on me. 

I also took a holiday to Ibiza with a friend. While we were there we met a couple of lads who seemed very nice, they certainly made us both laugh. They came to visit us after the holiday and one of them became smitten with another of my friends. She kept in touch with him so they visited several times. I actually got on really well with the other one. It was very hard at times because he lives so far away. I did in the end use it as an opportunity to further my career, because a promotion became available in a local branch. I got it and moved up there to be with him. 

I had my life all mapped out, unfortunately I was living in a dream world…

“Life is sweet. Two kids at my feet and a loving husband walking through the door. Cat curled up on the sofa with the youngest child. I only have to work part time in a job that I love”. 

That isn’t the way it happened…

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