All the time that my husband and I were trying for a baby, after the miscarriage and before the collapse, I would cry every month when my period came. I would be in agony, which I now know is because of the endometriosis, but emotionally it would crush me. I would hear of people having babies and I’d scream “why not me?”

Now things have changed dramatically. Now when I hear of a baby being born I think of them as a miracle. Each new life is a gift. I’m inspired to fight even more for our own miracle baby. Not to just settle for what I thought was our lot. To reach out and grab what we want more than anything in the world. 

As far as the dreaded period is concerned I hadn’t had one of them for a year! Then I find out I’ve got to have HRT and have three of them before we can start IVF. First one done and oh my life what new level of hell was that? I’ve obviously got scar tissue that was upset by the contracting and the blood in my body wanted to break free for its own little party! I’m due another one to start next week and on one hand I’m wishing and praying to get it but on the other hand I’m not sure I can put up with the trauma… Then I look at my visualisation picture and remind myself what this is all for. I will be pregnant and have our miracle baby!!!!

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