I’ve had so many people offer words of comfort and support. Especially since I started this blog. When they say the words “I’m sorry” and “you really have been through a bad time” I find myself being embarrassed. It’s almost like I don’t feel I deserve the sympathy. I compare myself to others and really don’t think I’ve been through as much as them. But then I read what I’ve written about our journey and it starts to sink in that actually it was pretty awful.

I’ve had other bad things happen in my life but I don’t think about them any more. I just think of everything that has happened in my life as a chapter. And each chapter has helped build my story. When bad stuff happens to my friends or family I like to help them see it’s part of their story and all the while I’m saying “I’m sorry” and “you really have been through a bad time” as if their pain is greater than mine. As a matter of fact in that moment of time their pain is greater. Their pain is real to them and that is how we all help each other through the tough times.

There is one person that has been my rock through all of this and all the time he has been feeling the effects too. He has had to visit his wife in hospital more times than I can count. Watch me throw up because of the meds I’m on. Watch me go down the corridors to the operating theatres not knowing when or if I would be back. And lastly he has had to make some of the hardest decisions of our lives together with me. My darling husband is a saint and I think I’ve always known it.

There is a remake of a song being played on the radio at the moment. It’s actually a song I decided to have playing at our wedding when people were waiting for me to arrive. The Story Brandie Carlile I think it perfectly sums up how I feel about our relationship.

Love you husband X X X

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