This is the post I put on Facebook. I also emailed it to some people who I thought wouldn’t see it on there. In it I do ask for donations, which we have received but I do clearly state that it is going to happen anyway. Where there’s a will there’s a way!
Hello family and friends. Firstly Simon and Terry would like to thank you for even looking at this post/email. We were going to set up a gofundme page but have found out that they take 8% of donations received so have decided that we will have an account dedicated to our cause instead. You probably know that go fund me is a way for people to ask for donations from friends and family to fund something important in their lives. So before we say the what we wanted to explain the why.
As most of you know Terry has had some serious health issues over the last two years. It started in 2014 with agonising pain that resulted in her appendix being taken out as an emergency. She didn’t recover from this as well as one would expect and the wounds were full of exudate that poured out of her over the practice Nurses floor when the stitches were taken out ( ambulance number 1!) Then a follow up appointment with the surgeons registrar revealed that her appendix wasn’t infected but was covered in a “chocolate cyst” that is a symptom of advanced endometriosis. Because the surgeon wasn’t familiar with this it wasn’t spotted soon enough. The operation caused exposure of the endometriosis that brought on a pelvic infection. No one had listened to her advancing symptoms up to this point. The registrar sent her to a CT scan there and then and we had to wait for the results. We were in the wrong hospital for gyne so the on call gyne dr told us to go to the conquest the next day so that they could do an internal scan to confirm what the ct-scan had found. It was a shame that this day was her birthday because they admitted her there and then. The infection had collected in her pelvis and was causing severe pain. They did try and remove the infection through a guided aspiration procedure and even though they took 80ml this wasn’t enough. It was at this point that the gyne consultant took us under his wing and started to make things happen. All through this period of time Terry was on antibiotics orally and when her temp went too high she would be taken in and given IV antibiotics that would make her feel soooooo ill. When the gyne consultant took over he knew that we had been trying for a family since a miscarriage in 2013. He did everything he could to put off having to operate. Terry had an implant put under her belly button that mimicked the menopause as this was suppose to keep the endometriosis at bay while we waited for her operation. Then it was time for the penultimate operation. Her left Fallopian tube and ovary were going to be removed as well has having as much infection removed from the right side as possible. At all times the consultant was trying to preserve her fertility as we hadn’t been married long and hadn’t been successful in having a family so far. We knew that this operation meant that IVF would be the only option for us and because of Terry’s weight we wouldn’t be getting it on the NHS. While she was recovering another temperature raged through her and we knew the infection was back. Antibiotics were tried and after another trip in an ambulance (with morphine. That is good stuff) it was soon realised that another operation was required. It was such a hard decision for us to make as a couple but when told you are close to sepsis and may die you soon realise that there are other ways to get the family you long for and that without this operation Terry wasn’t going to be around anyway. So in June 2015 Terry was taken down to have her remaining Fallopian tube and ovary removed.
She finally started to recover and then we wanted to start our next journey to become parents. Adoption was our first choice. We went to the meetings, filled out the forms and did everything we were told to. This turned out to be a fruitless venture and after being treated appallingly badly the social worker refused to take us through to the second stage. We felt so strongly about how we were treated that we put in a formal complaint and in a meeting to discuss this we were given a formal apology and as per our wishes some policies were changed so that other less strong and supported applicants would not get the same treatment.
This brings us to the present day and the reason for our gofundme page. Having lost a lot of weight now (4st for Terry and 1st for Simon so far!) we have decided that we want to have a family of our own despite everything that’s has gone on. We have been in touch with a fertility clinic in Athens Greece that specialises in egg donation IVF. They have a 60% success rate, are cheaper than the clinics here and most importantly there is no waiting list because of the differences in the laws over there. We have already started the process and Terry has been given HRT by the consultant to start her womb working again. The discussion with the consultant has led to us aiming for embryo transfer in November this year. Not long to wait at all.
We will be going ahead with this but with the help of our family and friends (you guys who are still reading right now!) we hope to do this with out having to build up a debt.
In total we need approx £8000 as we have to include paying for somewhere to stay while we wait for our test tube baby to grow and the flights to get over there.
Any help you can give us will be gratefully received even down to the odd £1 because it all adds up and if you have any questions about our journey past, present or future please don’t hesitate to contact either of us because we have decided that ours is a story to be told not a secret to be held.
Terry and Simon Lewis
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